Twere shame enough to shame thee, wert thou not shameless. ~ William Shakespeare

Shame (Noun) a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of having done something wrong, dishonorable, improper, unworthy, degrading, ridiculous, etc.
Shame (verb) To cause to feel shame.

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. said: Although many people use the two words “guilt” and “shame” interchangeably, from a psychological perspective, they actually refer to different experiences. … [Shame] reflects how we feel about ourselves and [guilt] involves awareness that our actions have injured someone else. … In other words, shame relates to self; guilt to others. I think it’s useful to preserve this distinction, even though the dictionary definitions often blur it. … Many people crippled by shame have very little capacity to feel guilt, for example. In order to feel guilt about the harm you may have done to somebody else, you must recognize him or her as a distinct individual, to begin with. Thus a person who struggles with separation and merger issues might not feel true guilt even if he or she were to use that word to describe a feeling. Many people who display narcissistic behavior often suffer from profound feelings of shame but have little authentic concern for other people; they don’t tend to feel genuinely guilty. The lack of empathy to be found in narcissistic personality disorder makes real guilt unlikely since guilt depends upon the ability to intuit how someone else might feel.

Neel Burton M.D. said: Embarrassment is the feeling of discomfort experienced when some aspect of ourselves is, or threatens to be, witnessed by or otherwise revealed to others, and we think that this revelation is likely to undermine the image of ourselves that we seek to project to those others. …

People with low self-esteem are more prone to shame, because, having a poor self-image, they are harsher upon themselves. In some cases, they may defend against shame with blame or contempt, often for the person who incited their shame. Ultimately, this is likely to lead to even deeper shame, and so to even lower self-esteem. While overwhelming shame can be destructive, mild or moderate shame is mostly a force for good, spurring us on to lead more ethical lives. …

Shame is ego dystonic, that is, in conflict with our self-image and the needs and goals of our ego, and high levels of shame are correlated with poor psychological functioning. In particular, eating disorders and many sexual disorders can largely be understood as disorders of shame, as can narcissism, which is sometimes thought of as a defense against shame. Guilt on the other hand is ego syntonic, that is, consistent with our self-image and the needs and goals of our ego, and, unless left to fester, is either unrelated or inversely correlated with poor psychological functioning.

Faced with the same set of circumstances, people with high self-esteem are more prone to guilt than to shame, and more likely to take corrective or redemptive action.

Sharkly B.S. says: Recently I have kept running into the concept of shaming. Most people seem to be very against shaming being done to them, but are quite ready to do it to their opponents. Some people are against shaming entirely and seem to go to great lengths to shame those who are still shaming. ????

But, does shaming have a positive purpose, and if so, why do some claim to be opposed to it? One person claimed that shaming should not be used because it might drive someone “underground” or back in “the closet”. However that might indeed be a very powerful reason to use it.

Are we ever to shame the wayward, or are we only to humor them? Can you shame a person’s deeds without devaluing the person? It has been said that if you attack someone’s due dignity, your relationship will suffer. Is there a way to shame people without attacking their human dignity? Should we even slave to keep close relations with the shameless? Should our relationships be subject to some basic level of expectation? Or is it imperative that everybody be nice, polite, and unconfrontational? I hope, with this post, to spur contemplation of shaming, and to start a discussion on the appropriate and best uses of shaming.

It would seem obvious that if society is to be peacefully reformed, we will absolutely need shame, as a force for good, spurring us on to lead more ethical lives. And even if you favor a violent revolution, won’t you still need shame to peaceably maintain your mores after you’ve installed them via gun barrel diplomacy? What would a chaotic world without shame even look like, where everybody did what was right in their own eyes?

I have a topic that I’d like to discuss, and I’ll use myself as the example, because I haven’t heard any other discussion on the topic. I was reading over at Σ Frame when the question of a virgin young man’s sexual compatibility with any potential wife came up.

I myself for whatever reason never worried about my sexual compatibility, so I would never have thought to bring the topic up. Although I’m blessed, I presumed that, if a baby’s head can come out of a woman’s baby maker, I’m pretty certain my penis will fit in. Now perhaps I’m not talking about the same aspect of sexual compatibility that was in question, but here is what happened to me.

The baseline.

Prior to marriage I had looked at pornography. I found I liked breasts of all shapes and sizes, I really did like them all, whatever preferences I had were pretty minimal. I also looked at vaginas, I found them interesting, while a little strange looking, but there too, I didn’t have any real strong preferences, except that they not be shaved bald and look just like a young child’s crotch.

I met my wife online, and was almost “in love” before I physically met her. When I did first meet her I was pleasantly suprised, that although she didn’t look exactly like her profile picture, she actually looked better than her online photo. Long story short – I fell in love, and married her.

I had never had sex until with my wife. When I first saw her breasts, I didn’t recall seeing many exactly like that, but I liked them. And when I first saw her vagina, well, it was a vagina, as good as any other vagina.

Somehow I got imprinted.

Due to my wife’s intimacy-anorexia she intentionally distances me, she withholds sharing emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy as part of her behavioral addiction. And so it was, that bereft of much sex with my wife, and let down by churches who refused to help, I turned back to pornography. But, to my surprise, I didn’t want to see just any breasts like before. I found myself looking for breasts that looked exactly like my wife’s breasts, and the more they looked like my wife’s breasts, the more I preferred them. I also had grown to appreciate vaginas a lot more, but the absolute best vaginas looked exactly like my wife’s vagina.

I wasn’t intentionally trying to find models that looked like my wife, I just gradually came to notice that I now strongly preferred everything to look exactly like how she looked. I now strongly prefer my wife’s size of nipples, the size and color of her areolas, the size and shape of her breasts. I also strongly prefer the size, shape, color, and texture of her pussy lips. I’m sorry, but I just do now. Apparently I imprinted on her sexually, and she is now what I just strongly prefer.

Anyhow, I’m not sure how this happened. I haven’t got the foggiest idea. I’m not even sure why I imprinted. Was it an act or blessing of God? Is it natural? Was it an act of will, that I chose to love her as she was, and it solidified? Had I perchance been blessed to marry somebody perfectly matching some subconscious preferences that I had been previously unaware of? Does this happen to others? I don’t know.

It gets worse.

My wife got pregnant twice during our marriage, and as she first began exhibiting the look of pregnancy, I began to love that look. I knew she was pregnant before she did. One day she wondered aloud if she was possibly pregnant, and without even thinking I just blurted out, yes, your boobs have changed. Anyhow, I began to love everything about the look of pregnancy as my wife exhibited it. And perhaps thanks to powerful pregnancy hormones overpowering my wife’s intimacy-anorexia the last two trimesters of both my wife’s pregnancies were the most regular sex I ever got. Anyhow, I sort of have a thing for pregnant women now, and I had never found them attractive before my wife first got pregnant. But now they’re just radiant and sexy to me, and I don’t know how to make it stop.

Recently over at Boxer’s Blog, Derek Ramsey made the following (slightly edited) observations:

From statistics, we know that over half of people have lasting marriages. The problem is that you can’t marry people who are already married, and presumably you don’t want to take the chance on a non-virgin. By age 25, ~95% of women are not virgins (and most of the best are married). You’ll have to find a quality wife before she is 25. By the time you (or she) are ~32, your options become much more limited and your divorce risk steadily increases. Thus, a man’s window of opportunity to find a quality wife is time-limited.

Please share your thoughts about this.

 

Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suited to him.

Twice the Bible speaks of evil people as being “without natural affection”. But we are also warned to stay away from evil women:

Proverbs 23:27 For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. 28 She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.

Proverbs 5:3 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil;

I wonder if that last verse, or Proverbs 23:27 above, are sexual euphemisms?
So, what are we to do?

1Corinthians 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1Corinthians 7:28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.

Please share your thoughts on this subject.

Yesterday Red-Pilled Christian blogger, Dalrock, announced on his blog, that he is quitting his blog, after a decade of blogging. https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2020/01/22/farewell-for-now-at-least-and-thank-you/ For myself, I am saddened to see his site ending. It helped me a lot, I met a lot of good men there, and was challenged to hone and defend my Bible based beliefs. I am glad it was there for me at a time when few were.

So why did a righteous God give men dominion and rule over women from creation?

So why did the subtle serpent, Satan, first tempt humanity to sin, via the woman?

Why was it the woman to first transgress a command of God’s?

So why was the earth cursed when the man harkened unto the voice of the woman?

Why didn’t the woman harken unto her husband Adam, and God?

Why are women never to usurp men?

Why does God still want women everywhere to adorn themselves with shamefacedness?

Why would God give young women a monthly reminder of their inherent uncleanness?

Because women are the moral weak link!

Women were created as weaker vessels, morally inferior, and in need of husbanding.

1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Tertullian wrote: Do you not know that you are Eve? The judgment of God upon this sex lives on in this age; therefore, necessarily the guilt should live on also. You are the gateway of the devil; you are the one who unsealed the curse of that tree, and you are the first one to turn your back on the divine law; you are the one who persuaded him whom the devil was not able to corrupt; you so easily destroyed the image of God, Adam. Because of what you deserve, that is, death, even the Son of God had to die.

Women are the moral weak link. Don’t ever act the fool by forgetting that. Don’t sin like Adam by deferring to their weaker moral judgement. Don’t serve women, and thereby serve Satan by following his favorite lure into defilement.

Luke 4:8 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve.

As men, our sex alone is the image and glory of God.(1 Corinthians 11:7) This is gloriously exemplified when you rule over your woman, in all things, as God created you and instructed you to do in His holy word. Don’t let the usurper steal God’s glory by imagining any woman to be worthy of your service. she certainly does not merit that “worth-ship”(which is the etymological source of the English word “worship”, circa 1300AD)

Exodus 34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

You, as men, however, are worthy of your wife’s service:

Colossians 3 :18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

It is fitting in the Lord, that she is commanded to serve you by God, as unto God, because you are the image of Christ, who is God:

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Women are not the image of God, nor the glory of God,(1 Corinthians 11:7) but a morally weaker-link created fittingly to serve and satisfy men(the image of God) and yet women also serve God’s purpose to try men’s spirits and allegiance, which men must rationalize by faith to an intangible God, rather than giving allegiance to the tangible creature,(woman) who is to be by design the man-satisfying gift of God. While women themselves, being a weaker vessel,(1 Peter 3:7) demonstrate whether or not they are loyal to an intangible God by the rationally simpler task of just showing their faith and allegiance by serving His tangible image, and seeing to it that she reverence God through reverencing His tangible image, her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

At this point of reflection at both the end and beginning of a decade, we should remember that those men and women who are too cowardly to stand up against the great whore’s continual inversion of God’s established patriarchy, need to repent and turn from their cowardice before they are damned to hell for it.

Mark 8:34 And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. 36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? 37 For what can a man give in return for his soul? 38 For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.“

So, today, I, a man, singlehandedly rustled up a tasty Thanksgiving dinner, cleaned and managed the house, and kept two tween-age boys happy and helping. While also managing to sleep in late, enjoy my coffee ritual, have some “me time”, and write this post mocking overentitled women, and I still have a lot of day left to enjoy with my boys. I don’t feel oppressed by the patriarchy, and, in fact, I wish I could do it all over again tomorrow, except not eat so much. I guess I fail to understand what would make this all so unbearable?

Perhaps my powerful hands and perfect “falling off the bone” cooking, made deboning the turkey easier, and perhaps my steady disposition meant I didn’t spend any part of my day wallowing in a bad mood, but really, this was a day off of work for me, and it truly felt like a wonderful vacation just puttering about the house doing all the week’s cleaning and preparing a small feast. LOL Women!

According to the US CDC the mean age for first vaginal sexual intercourse is 17 for both males and females. By age 23, 95% of women interviewed claimed that they’d had sexual intercourse. Meanwhile the average age of first marriage in the US is 27 for women and 29 for men. The average girl has had a full decade of fornication before she ever marries. while average men have been screwing around for a dozen years prior to marriage. We have produced a generation of emotionally used up whores, and cads who will never be able to properly value married life. These statistics should make Godly people sick and we should want to repent of the absolute wickedness of our sexually immoral generation.

What is the designed purpose of women?

Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him.”

Definition #3 for “Meet”: fulfilling, satisfying, agreeable, fit, proper

1 Corinthians 11: 3 But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prayeth or prophesieth, having his head covered, dishonoreth his head. 5 But every woman who prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head, for that is one and the same as if she were shaven. 6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. 7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, inasmuch as he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man.

The woman was created for the man, to be with the man, and to be a helper to the man. The man is to govern her easily misled nature, and be head over her. She is to be agreeable and proper to the man who is presently over her, and to do what is fitting and proper for her to do for him whether he is her father or husband.

How do we get women to fulfill their purpose?

It is my Biblically supported belief that women are to naturally spend their whole lives first being trained up to serve a man in their father’s house, and then to be serving her husband, as she was created for, as unto the Lord, in her husband’s home.(Ephesians 5:22-24) Girls should spend their formative years honoring their fathers and mothers who are to train them up in the way that they should go, so that they will not depart from it when they are older. Women are to be trained to serve their fathers and mothers and care for others, in preparation to serve their husbands and care for their children and others. Mothers and other older women are to be examples and teachers of good things: Titus 2:4 that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

So, if a father and mother wanted to train their daughter up exactly like a Christian young woman should be, what would that look like? Would they send their daughter off, out from under her father’s care, to college to learn to be independent of men and to provide for herself those things that a father or husband should be providing? Should a Christian father send his easily beguiled young daughter off to college, where less than 5% emerge with their virginity still intact, just so the whore can be well prepared to dump her husband and live independently without a man, as she will learn how to do in college and afterward in her career? No. And of those 5% of girls who don’t become whores in college, a good portion of those are likely disabled, disfigured, or grotesque. Sending an attractive daughter off to where they hand out condoms and abortion pills like candy while the authority figures preach anarchy and rebellion is absolute foolishness tantamount to just pimping her out as a whore yourself, only you end up paying tuition instead of reaping the profit.

A Christian father should not “empower” his daughter, but instead teach her to expect and joyfully take guidance from her God ordained head. He should teach her to serve others by keeping her serving domestically in his own home until she is ready and invited to be a keeper of her own home with a good and Godly man whom her father should help the easily beguiled young woman to choose. And he should not give her away to a fool or a heathen. Letting a young woman marry whatever bad-boy psychopath she is infatuated with, is not fatherly love at all, but could subject her to a lifetime of painful and unnecessary drama. She should be taught from an early age to let the God ordained men in her life take care of her, and learn to take their advice. Some people are not so fortunate to have fathers and husbands to look out for them.

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

God tells His people many times to look out for the fatherless and widows. Because, despite Feminism’s lies to the contrary, it is truly an affliction to not have a father or for a woman to not have a husband. Churches should never neglect to take care of their fatherless and their widows in accordance with 1 Timothy 5:3-16. If your church is giving your money away to thrice divorced MILFs, they’re doing things completely wrong! So a true church of Christ’s would already provide a safety net for your daughter, should she be a worthy widow, she won’t need the four years of fornicating, away from her parents, to fall back on.

So, is it wise for Christians to squander the four peak reproductive years of most every woman’s life training them, via college, how to provide for themselves(and fornicate) just in case they should become widowed? Would it not be better that their husbands be allowed to enjoy their unspoiled youth and beauty, in return for their lifetime of care, provision, and sacrifice, that they vow to their wives? Would marriage not be a better deal for both parties if both parties gave their best? Encouraging your daughter to get a college education seems to be a sure way to drastically reduce your grandchildren, and her commitment to motherhood:

By preserving a chaste unmarried daughter serving in your home until she marries, you are not only being a good father to her, but you are preparing her to be an excellent wife.

My oldest sister went off to college when I was a first grader, and my other sister went off to college when I was a third grader, as a result I grew up without sisters and I hardly know them.

Are we teaching our daughters to serve others or to be self serving?

So if we teach our daughters to pursue their own dreams, won’t that just make her future home a reeducation-camp, if her husband has his own ambitions and wants a Godly “keeper at home”? Should we not prepare her to follow her husband’s directions? If Eve had followed her husband’s directions we might all still be living in a paradise.

Conclusion: I don’t think a Christian woman should move out of her father’s house until she marries, especially considering the absolute sexual immorality we live amongst. What do you think?

First the good news:

Our friend Gunner Q claims he is not the spawn of monkeys.

And now even better news:

He wrote a marvelous post about it.

Gunner Q’s post was a great one!

However, I was not as impressed by the comments there.

Feel free to leave better ones here.